I am the second child in my family and always felt like I got plenty of attention but now that I have my own second child I am suddenly feeling…short shrifted. How could I not have been? Not only was I the second child, I was the second girl. And I had colic! Obviously I got the hand-me-down clothes and never sat shotgun, but it’s more than that. With your first baby, motherhood is so new and exciting and scary and all encompassing. Number two is exciting, of course, but there just isn’t as much time to revel in it. Because you’re divided—your attention is divided, your patience is divided, your threshold for crap is divided (though, miraculously, not your love...that just doubles). You can’t possibly be everything to your number two because number one is still there demanding that you make him pancakes...with strawberries not bananas!

In our little family the SCS began before Nora was even born—if it weren’t for the project pregnancy blog (and the Cheetos cravings) I would barely have noticed I was pregnant. I never even got on the web to see if she was the size of a lemon or a squash or a grapefruit. With Alex, I couldn’t tear myself away from that stuff. And since her arrival 8 weeks ago today, she has continued getting quietly gypped. Here’s how: 

• When speaking about Nora, it is not uncommon for me to refer to her as him/he.
• Her bath towel has “ALEX” embroidered on the back.
• She’s also using Alex’s car seat, which is red, and his Bundle Me, which is brown. On our first public outing, someone said, “Oh, what’s his name?” And how could I blame her?
• We don’t have a single photo of her in our house. Granted we have quite a few on the computer and she’s only 8 weeks old, but still. We have a photo printer in our house. We have an empty frame on display in her room. We have no excuse.
• I’m not doing baby announcements for Nora. I had planned to but I think I missed the boat and, frankly, between the blog and facebook, I really feel like I’ve covered anyone who could possibly want to know I had a baby.
• I have also not logged a single entry into her babybook, which, P.S., was bought last week. To be fair, I only put about three entries in Alex’s book. Contrary to what you might think, I am not good at documenting my children’s lives.
• Alex didn’t watch any TV until he was almost 18 months old. Nora has seen every episode of Modern Family (best show on television, btw....if you’re not already watching, hulu it now!), Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol (she’s rooting for Siobhan), and, most recently, The Hurt Locker. 

In some ways I think it’s good that we’ve loosened up a bit with number two. And being that Nora is the first granddaughter in the family, I know she will do fine in the spoling department. But I don’t want to completely drop the ball here. For her sake but also for mine. She may be my second baby but she’s still amazing and I’m so happy—and lucky—to have her here. And I want to make sure I enjoy her.

Do you have two? Does your second get the shaft in any way? I can’t even imagine having three (although it does explain a lot about my sister Meghan...)

This is what constitutes a cover story these days: a 3-year-old girl dressing like a tomboy.

At least according to Life & Style Weekly, which accuses Angelina Jolie of turning daughter Shiloh into a boy, letting her “cross-dress” and wear her hair “shockingly short.”

While I don’t quite understand how Shiloh failed to get the memo my preschool-aged daughter did (Re: Pink, Sparkly, Princess-y Dress Code), I don’t think anyone should be judged based on the style decisions they make at age 3. And their parents shouldn’t be either; if they were, I’d be in big trouble.

Here’s hoping Shiloh keeps doing her own thing – and Brad and Angelina keep letting her.

What do you do when life hands you a surplus of breast milk? If you’re NYC chef Daniel Angerer, you make breast milk fromage. When Angerer ran out of room in the freezer to store his partner’s pumped breast milk, he experimented and created Mommy’s Milk Cheese rather than pitch the liquid gold. Although most of the comments on his blog have commended his originality, a few people have expressed squeamishness.

What do you think – would you like a taste of breast milk cheese?

I'm a perpetual procrastinator, which is a huge challenge for me especially since I'm a writer -- my career hinges on my ability to meet deadlines. But I've always felt I do my best work under intense deadline pressure -- a lot of creative types say that. It's like I purposely wait till the last minute to start something, knowing I'm going to make myself completely nuts trying to finish it on time.

I think my proclivity for procrastination is what caused me to wait to marry and have kids till I was older. If you consider the fact that I went out with my now-husband four or so years before we actually started dating, it makes perfect sense. And then I subsequently jammed just about every major life-altering decision into one-and-a-half year's time: serious relationship, engagement, marriage, pregnancy, promotion, house, car, puppy, baby, etc. Like I said, I work well under pressure.

Speaking of, even though Preston is only six months old, I've been thinking lately about when is the "right time" to start trying for baby no. 2. You should've seen the look on Jay's face yesterday when I mentioned it in passing after brunch.

Me: "So, babe, when do you think we should start trying?"

Him: Silence. A look of surprise, but no actual response.

Me: "I'm being totally serious..."

Him: "I...think...we should wait."

Me: "How long though?"

Him: "Till we're ready."

Well, I'm sure glad we cleared that up.

There's a big part of me that wants to wait till Preston's a couple years old before trying for baby no. 2, but there's another part of me that wonders if my age should be a consideration for speeding things up a little -- I'll be 36 this April (Jay is 34).

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with Preston, last January. I had stayed home from work that day because I wasn't feeling well -- I was tired and nauseated, but I thought it was just symptomatic of my annual winter flu. To rule out the Big P, I decided to take a pregnancy test (or, um, five), and -- lo and behold -- they all came back positive. It was one of the best days of my life, when I found out, behind getting engaged, married, and the day Preston was born. As freaked out and clueless as we both were, it was the coolest feeling ever -- finding out I was pregnant was every bit as special as I had dreamed it would be.

And now this is where I offer you a little TMI: Jay and I stopped using protection on our honeymoon, deciding to throw caution to the wind -- we conceived Preston exactly three months after our wedding, after three months of only casually trying. Since I was on the cusp of turning 35 at the time, I didn't know how long it would take me to get pregnant, so our attitude was, It'll happen when it's meant to happen. And if it would take us some time to conceive, then we'd be getting a head start on the process.

So, now, I find myself wanting to jumpstart the process again: Preston's only six months old, but what if getting pregnant the second time isn't quite as easy as it was the first? What if I am faced with infertility issues like some of my peers? What if it takes a year or two for us to conceive? If we wait a couple of years to start trying, I could be 40 by the time baby no. 2 is on its way. Had I not procrastinated on this whole marriage and kids thing, ideally I'd want to space my kids out by 2-3 years. But, let's be honest, waiting any extended period of time at this point in my life would pretty much rule out the possibility of us having a third child (we've both always thought we wanted three, but now I think I'd be okay with two, maybe I'd even prefer it). However, I certainly don't want to take away the option.

I don't need to tell you about the increased risk of chromosomal problems that come with age, among other things...I'm usually a hopeless optimist, a glass-half-full gal, so I'm not really one to focus on the negatives -- but I'm keenly aware of them, especially since I was 35 when Preston was born.

The other half of my brain says, But what if I am lucky again and I get pregnant right away? Are we even ready to handle a second baby? I'm still figuring out the first!

One of my best friends found out she was pregnant with her second when her first was only five months old. She was shocked to learn she was pregnant, because with her first son it didn't happen as easily. Her boys are 15 months apart, and she has live-in help, yet she's perpetually tired and overwhelmed, and she's a full-time SAHM. Every time we talk I hang up the phone thinking, I'm not ready for this yet.

Then my biological clock starts ticking, and I'm catapulted back into reality.

I'd love to think that growing our family is something we can do organically, but when you're my age that's not very realistic. We need to plan things out; we need to consider the risks; and we need to be honest with ourselves about the challenges.

Now we're saying we'd wait to start trying till Preston's at least a year old (and by then I'll also have my pre-baby body back, natch) -- that's probably what we'll end up doing. So in the grand scheme of things, waiting another six months or so is not too far off -- but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, for either outcome.

How did you know when you were ready to start trying for baby no. 2? Did age play a part in your decision to start trying again? I know I want more kids, but time is not on my side. As much as I don't want to rush this -- of all things to rush! -- I'm feeling like I don't really have a choice. This is one thing I'm not willing to procrastinate on any longer.

Visit The Cosmo Mom's personal blog.

2010 is a census year -- and right around now, the government is mailing you a form to fill out. A census, which must be taken every 10 years as per the Constitution, counts how many residents there are in the U.S.

Stacks of forms asking tons of mundane questions may come to mind when you think of a census. Who has the time for all that? But here’s why you need to participate, how to keep a census taker from knocking on your door, and how long it really takes (good news: not long).

How many questions are on the census form -- and how long will it take to complete?
The census form (pictured below) has 10 questions, and should take about 10 minutes to complete. The form will NOT ask for social security numbers or citizenship status. The form cannot be filled out online. The Census Bureau recommends using April 1 -- also (coincidentally) "National Census Day" -- as the date to use to mail your form back in.

 

 

What will the government do with the census information?
The information is used to calculate how many people reside in the U.S. -- which helps determine how $400 billion of federal funding will be used for hospitals, schools, senior centers, bridges and tunnels, emergency services and job training centers, and to predict how many people will be needing Social Security or Medicare benefits. It also determines how many seats your state gets in the House of Representatives.

What happens if I forget to mail the form back?
Since you are required by law to participate in the census, if you don't fill out and mail back your form, a census taker will contact you by telephone, mail or even in person up to six times. Census takers will not email you. If they come in person, a census taker can pay you a visit in the afternoons, early evenings or during the weekend.

How can I tell if a census worker is legitimate?
Census workers will have ID badges (pictured below), a handheld device, a Census Bureau canvas bag, and a notice of confidentiality. Census workers will present you with the same 10-question form you received in the mail, and they will NOT ask for social security numbers, citizenship status, or any banking or credit information.

 

 

How can I get my kids involved in the census process?
All infants and children should be counted in the census. According to the Census Bureau, children have been undercounted in every census since 1790. Seeing as how census info is used for schools, it's important to make sure the kiddos are included!

Got a Dora fan in the house? If she happens to be particularly curious about the census form (as all kids are, natch), you can download a Dora-themed fact sheet that explains census basics to kids. Nickelodeon will also air a public awareness campaign on counting kids in the census, featuring the pint-sized explorer.

Go to 2010.census.gov for more information on this year's census.

I'm a perpetual procrastinator, which is a huge challenge for me especially since I'm a writer -- my career hinges on my ability to meet deadlines. But I've always felt I do my best work under intense deadline pressure -- a lot of creative types say that. It's like I purposely wait till the last minute to start something, knowing I'm going to make myself completely nuts trying to finish it on time.

I think my proclivity for procrastination is what caused me to wait to marry and have kids till I was older. If you consider the fact that I went out with my now-husband four or so years before we actually started dating, it makes perfect sense. And then I subsequently jammed just about every major life-altering decision into one-and-a-half year's time: serious relationship, engagement, marriage, pregnancy, promotion, house, car, puppy, baby, etc. Like I said, I work well under pressure.

Speaking of, even though Preston is only six months old, I've been thinking lately about when is the "right time" to start trying for baby no. 2. You should've seen the look on Jay's face yesterday when I mentioned it in passing after brunch.

Me: "So, babe, when do you think we should start trying?"

Him: Silence. A look of surprise, but no actual response.

Me: "I'm being totally serious..."

Him: "I...think...we should wait."

Me: "How long though?"

Him: "Till we're ready."

Well, I'm sure glad we cleared that up.

There's a big part of me that wants to wait till Preston's a couple years old before trying for baby no. 2, but there's another part of me that wonders if my age should be a consideration for speeding things up a little -- I'll be 36 this April (Jay is 34).

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with Preston, last January. I had stayed home from work that day because I wasn't feeling well -- I was tired and nauseated, but I thought it was just symptomatic of my annual winter flu. To rule out the Big P, I decided to take a pregnancy test (or, um, five), and -- lo and behold -- they all came back positive. It was one of the best days of my life, when I found out, behind getting engaged, married, and the day Preston was born. As freaked out and clueless as we both were, it was the coolest feeling ever -- finding out I was pregnant was every bit as special as I had dreamed it would be.

And now this is where I offer you a little TMI: Jay and I stopped using protection on our honeymoon, deciding to throw caution to the wind -- we conceived Preston exactly three months after our wedding, after three months of only casually trying. Since I was on the cusp of turning 35 at the time, I didn't know how long it would take me to get pregnant, so our attitude was, It'll happen when it's meant to happen. And if it would take us some time to conceive, then we'd be getting a head start on the process.

So, now, I find myself wanting to jumpstart the process again: Preston's only six months old, but what if getting pregnant the second time isn't quite as easy as it was the first? What if I am faced with infertility issues like some of my peers? What if it takes a year or two for us to conceive? If we wait a couple of years to start trying, I could be 40 by the time baby no. 2 is on its way. Had I not procrastinated on this whole marriage and kids thing, ideally I'd want to space my kids out by 2-3 years. But, let's be honest, waiting any extended period of time at this point in my life would pretty much rule out the possibility of us having a third child (we've both always thought we wanted three, but now I think I'd be okay with two, maybe I'd even prefer it). However, I certainly don't want to take away the option.

I don't need to tell you about the increased risk of chromosomal problems that come with age, among other things...I'm usually a hopeless optimist, a glass-half-full gal, so I'm not really one to focus on the negatives -- but I'm keenly aware of them, especially since I was 35 when Preston was born.

The other half of my brain says, But what if I am lucky again and I get pregnant right away? Are we even ready to handle a second baby? I'm still figuring out the first!

One of my best friends found out she was pregnant with her second when her first was only five months old. She was shocked to learn she was pregnant, because with her first son it didn't happen as easily. Her boys are 15 months apart, and she has live-in help, yet she's perpetually tired and overwhelmed, and she's a full-time SAHM. Every time we talk I hang up the phone thinking, I'm not ready for this yet.

Then my biological clock starts ticking, and I'm catapulted back into reality.

I'd love to think that growing our family is something we can do organically, but when you're my age that's not very realistic. We need to plan things out; we need to consider the risks; and we need to be honest with ourselves about the challenges.

Now we're saying we'd wait to start trying till Preston's at least a year old (and by then I'll also have my pre-baby body back, natch) -- that's probably what we'll end up doing. So in the grand scheme of things, waiting another six months or so is not too far off -- but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, for either outcome.

How did you know when you were ready to start trying for baby no. 2? Did age play a part in your decision to start trying again? I know I want more kids, but time is not on my side. As much as I don't want to rush this -- of all things to rush! -- I'm feeling like I don't really have a choice. This is one thing I'm not willing to procrastinate on any longer.

Visit The Cosmo Mom's personal blog.

2010 is a census year -- and right around now, the government is mailing you a form to fill out. A census, which must be taken every 10 years as per the Constitution, counts how many residents there are in the U.S.

Stacks of forms asking tons of mundane questions may come to mind when you think of a census. Who has the time for all that? But here’s why you need to participate, how to keep a census taker from knocking on your door, and how long it really takes (good news: not long).

How many questions are on the census form -- and how long will it take to complete?
The census form (pictured below) has 10 questions, and should take about 10 minutes to complete. The form will NOT ask for social security numbers or citizenship status. The form cannot be filled out online. The Census Bureau recommends using April 1 -- also (coincidentally) "National Census Day" -- as the date to use to mail your form back in.

 

 

What will the government do with the census information?
The information is used to calculate how many people reside in the U.S. -- which helps determine how $400 billion of federal funding will be used for hospitals, schools, senior centers, bridges and tunnels, emergency services and job training centers, and to predict how many people will be needing Social Security or Medicare benefits. It also determines how many seats your state gets in the House of Representatives.

What happens if I forget to mail the form back?
Since you are required by law to participate in the census, if you don't fill out and mail back your form, a census taker will contact you by telephone, mail or even in person up to six times. Census takers will not email you. If they come in person, a census taker can pay you a visit in the afternoons, early evenings or during the weekend.

How can I tell if a census worker is legitimate?
Census workers will have ID badges (pictured below), a handheld device, a Census Bureau canvas bag, and a notice of confidentiality. Census workers will present you with the same 10-question form you received in the mail, and they will NOT ask for social security numbers, citizenship status, or any banking or credit information.

 

 

How can I get my kids involved in the census process?
All infants and children should be counted in the census. According to the Census Bureau, children have been undercounted in every census since 1790. Seeing as how census info is used for schools, it's important to make sure the kiddos are included!

Got a Dora fan in the house? If she happens to be particularly curious about the census form (as all kids are, natch), you can download a Dora-themed fact sheet that explains census basics to kids. Nickelodeon will also air a public awareness campaign on counting kids in the census, featuring the pint-sized explorer.

Go to 2010.census.gov for more information on this year's census.

This morning I sat at a breakfast fundraiser for the Pacific Science Center in Seattle. Surrounded by business leaders and philanthropists, I felt strangely out of place because although I was invited as a member of the media to cover the event, I had really come as a mother, a mother hoping for answers and ideas, a mother frustrated with the gaps I'm already noticing in the public school system.

Although we decided not to homeschool our children, Dan and I are not naive enough to expect the government to be responsible for their complete education. Our philosophy has been to take what we can from the public school experience and fill in the blanks at home, following the kids' interests, using the questions they ask as an opportunity to study and learn together. However, Laylee, who has a passionate curiosity for all things scientific, often comes home and describes school as "boring." She complains that she's not learning enough and I think she's right.

What drew me to the breakfast this morning was the keynote speaker Jeff Raikes, CEO of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. I am so impressed with the work they do both globally and here at home and he spoke about the importance of STEM education: Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. I wanted to hear him talk about a magic solution for improving education, some fabulous and fast-acting way to bring quality, hands-on, experiential learning into our classrooms…yesterday. I wanted him to paint a picture of a public school system that doesn't require a passionate member of the PTA to spend two years working with teachers, administrators and the local science center in order to schedule, get permission, and raise funds for a science van to bring these experiences to kids for just 2 days per year.

Let me insert here that I love the Pacific Science Center's Science Van program and I am so grateful to my friend on the PTA board who worked tirelessly to bring it to the school. The day that Laylee spent with those resources was by far the most exciting day she's had in her elementary school career. I just want more. I remember going to the school science lab as an elementary school student, conducting experiments, looking at living things under a microscope and living science with Mr. Beattie. It wasn't a special event. It was school. Now it seems that our teachers don't have the funding or the support to bring those kinds of experiences to the classroom on a consistent basis.

Bryce Seidl, the President and CEO of the Pacific Science Center, said that often the spark that ignites a love and desire for knowledge in the sciences comes outside of the classroom. He also said that early interest in the sciences is a better indicator of a future career than early academic achievement. Essentially some mediocre math and science students end up pursuing and succeeding in the Engineering and Technology fields because they had experiences early in life that fueled their imaginations and encouraged them to seek to learn more.

A lot of statistics were shared about the need for improving the quality of and access to education. They were compelling and if I were a wealthy donor or a large tech company, they would have persuaded me to donate money to the Science Center and to the Gates Foundation. Their goals are lofty and I think they will have a big impact on students of the future, encouraging curiosity, improving teachers and therefore classroom experiences. Jeff Raikes said that effective teachers are more important than class sizes. A quality teacher can do more with a large class than a lesser teacher can do with a small class. I agree that we need to raise the bar for teachers, value them more and offer them more support.

I stood up after the event feeling hopeful for the future, excited to get involved but not overly optimistic for my own children's classroom experience. I asked Jeff what he thought I could do now on a practical level to improve my kids' STEM education, not ten years from now but right this minute. He said that it's all about me. It's all about you. As parents we need to give our kids experiences that will excite them, instruct them and make them thirsty for more knowledge. In the end, we are the teachers. It's up to us. Let's ALL go to the Science Center and look up volcanoes online for fun.

Visit Daring Young Mom's personal blog.